For the first time in a couple of months, last evening I got the nudge. I have committed to not writing except when I sense the nudge of the Spirit. I finally sensed that again.
Yesterday I met a new soulmate. Not in the way we usually think of it, of course. Maybe the better term would be a new shipmate because we are on the same ship. I was at the warehouse yesterday afternoon when a manufacturer’s rep came for a scheduled meeting with me. We had some products that had been damaged and he was to process the return. We spent maybe 10-15 minutes on the return and another hour or more on what mattered. I will call him DK. He’s 20 years to my younger. He has a family and two teens. He looks good, but he has been through a lot. I wasn’t sure that he was the one I had heard about, so I asked him, “How are things going for you?” “Good, he said. “How about you?” Then I asked him, “How is your health?” That was intended to open the door. “I’m doing as well as could be expected,” was his reply. Then he admitted what I thought was the case. “I have multiple myeloma.” DK was diagnosed six years ago after having some extreme pain. He had a stem cell transplant and has been on a chemotherapy pill daily for three weeks out of four since then. If he was in the Cancer Center getting treatment, I couldn’t say that I was the healthiest looking person there. 20 years might have something to do with that. We shared our individual stories on treatments, fatigue, hope, and reality. He so wants to see his kids grow up. I wasn’t far from his age when I first had cancer over 20 years ago. I understood just how he felt. Like other cancers, multiple myeloma affects people differently. Honestly, he and I are fortunate ones. I hadn’t thought about it until after we had met, but DK is the first multiple myeloma patient that I have known personally. I had seen some other patients at Mayo Clinic, and I have heard of others who have myeloma, but he’s the first person I actually know who has the same disease. Our sharing was open and free with each other. He has been treated locally. It was obvious that I knew more about the disease. Mayo gets credit for that. I worked hard not to imply anything that might be construed as critical of any care that he had received. It is apparent that he is doing well. Being the ponderer that I am, I have mulled over in my mind my time with DK a lot in the last 24 hours. Here are some takeaways for me. It’s a very hard thing when you are able to see some possibilities, both positive and negative, and can’t cross those bridges. I must leave his care to those who have been successful thus far, while at the same time hoping to get him some more insight. As we were sharing together this thought came to me. Maybe it was the nudge of the Spirit. If he would like to at some point, I invited him to go with me to Mayo. I will be stunned if someday that doesn’t happen. A second takeaway was how quickly we became friends. I didn’t ask if he was a believer, but that wasn’t the critical issue at this point. I have a heart for DK and his family. He jumped on my prayer list rather quickly. The third takeaway is why I am writing after such a long pause. I sent him an email, thanking him for coming and how much I enjoyed the privilege to get to know him. Let me share with you part of the email that he sent back: “I wanted to respond and tell you that I also enjoyed our time and it was really helpful just talking about the process with someone who was going through the same thing. You can talk to a lot of people, but it’s different when the other person can really relate.” DK is correct, isn’t he? It is different when you share with someone whom you know who knows. As shipmates, we have both found that sometimes the water is pretty rough. Sometimes it is like you are in a storm and the sun can’t be seen. Sometimes the sun shines, the winds die down, and the water is calm. But with multiple myeloma you’re never off the ship. As I read his email, I couldn’t help but think of the value of the church. Paul says that we are to come alongside of others to comfort them with the same comfort that God has given to us. There is so much as believers with which we can relate. We are all sinners, saved by grace. None of us is worthy. All of us have struggles. And then sometimes by the grace that God gave us in one of life’s struggles, we are able to come alongside of someone who is in the same struggle and take them by the hand. And it helps. It really helps when we know that they know what we are going through. Thanks, DK, for bringing meaning and purpose to yesterday. And maybe a touch of hope for both of us.
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Chuck Cooper
Pastor at Daybreak Community Church Archives
February 2025
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