March 5, 2024 - Reality

     It has been a while since I have written a blog.  I am writing this one while I am at the hospital getting this week’s treatment.  I head back to Mayo Clinic next week, so I am going to try to write a few blogs before then, just to get me back in the swing of things.
     Today’s treatment is the easiest of the four that I have each month.  Just one stick (hopefully!) and the least amount of time for me to be here.
     Like it does almost every time I come for a treatment, reality comes home and I am reminded that I am a cancer patient. 
     Though I am not nearly as strong, nor do I have the stamina I once had, sometimes I tend to function as if I wasn’t dealing with cancer.   The vast majority of the time if people don’t know me, they wouldn’t have a clue.  Even those who do know me often don’t see a lot of difference in how I function.  And that is a good thing, a very good thing.
     I thank our Lord consistently that I am able to function relatively normally most of the time.  Some days are better than others.
     I saw a friend on Sunday whom I hadn’t seen in a while.  It came home to me in something that he said that made me realize why I hear, as I did from him, “that you look really good.”
     It’s a two-fold reason.  One of them I have known for most of the time I have been taking chemotherapy.  I don’t look like most cancer patients because I haven’t lost weight during the treatments.  The steroids do the opposite—they make me hungry.  I took a steroid this morning and it will affect me in two ways: I will be hungry all day long and I will likely have trouble sleeping tonight.
     The second reason came home when he said to me, “You’ve still got hair.”  It might be thinner than it used to be, but yes, I am thankful that I still have some hair!
     Three other folks are in the waiting room this morning and they look to be about my age.
     A couple of weeks ago was a different case.  It was a difficult morning because of the others who were in the waiting area.  The first three patients I saw were all women.  I could never be the “age guesser” at King’s Island, but I had some clue of their ages.
     One I would guess in her 20s, one in her 30s, and one who could be in her 30s or maybe 39 and holding.   My heart breaks when I see someone in the cancer center that young.  It leads me to pray for them.  It also leads me to count my blessings.
     I was blessed this morning when I saw volunteer Joe.  We became as close as you could in these circumstances some months ago when I came on Tuesdays, the day he volunteers each week.  I had moved to Mondays and then to Fridays, but I chose to return to Tuesdays, partially because of Joe.
     I heard him singing before I saw him. He greeted me with a big smile and remembered what I liked as a snack during treatment.  He is such a good man, with a great heart.  In my own struggle with things, he was a bright light in my morning.
     Lord, help me today to bring some light into someone else’s life today.