March 15, 2023 AM Post

        I had no intention of writing a blog today until after the final radiation treatment.  The Lord willing, I will write one after the treatment.
       I was told that insomnia would be one of the side effects of the hormone injection.  Coupled with trips to the bathroom as a side effect of the radiation treatments, the ability to sleep has been an issue.  As I was lying awake in the middle of the night, lots of stuff was passing through my mind. 
       I finally got out of bed and began to write.  There is a catharsis for me in the writing.  I found that to be true in the journal that I wrote in the first bout with cancer.  I am finding the same as I have written these blogs whether anyone reads them or not.
       One word kept coming back to me in the night.  Crossroads.  They come to all of us and they come often.  A few come most every day, the small decisions that we make.
       At times there are major crossroads that we face when the decision on the path we choose changes the rest of our lives.  Vocation, college, a mate, church, etc.  That’s why living in the will of God is so important to us.  We need His wisdom and discernment as we face those crossroads.
       There are times when we come to some crossroads that we have nothing to do with which path we will take.  A spouse leaves us.  We are fired from work.  An accident or an injury.  That list is an extensive one.  A crossroad of life in which someone else or a circumstance beyond out control has forced us to walk in a different path than we would have chosen.
       And sometimes, often because of health issues we come to a crossroad that will determine the rest of our lives.  Many of you have been at those crossroads with your own health or the health of a loved one.  
       Tomorrow is obviously one of those big ones for me.  I have no decision in the matter.  I can’t change the news, good or bad.  It has taken over two months to come to this crossroad.  How we handle the news is not too far behind in importance as the news itself.
       In the uncertainty, there are two things that I know.  I know that God won’t be surprised by the news.  He is still on the Throne and my faith and trust in Him will likely deepen, regardless of the news.  We all know that it is in the storms that our faith is molded and our character is refined. 
       The second thing that I know is that the love of others will sustain us on the one hand or rejoice with us on the other.
       I have refrained from telling this story, knowing that there is a looming possibility that if the multiple myeloma is active that some of the treatments can take you to almost death’s door before bringing you back.  I thought maybe I should save the story for then, just in case.  I guess not.
       When we were in Winchester serving a church about the size of Daybreak, we had two circumstances that happened in the same week just before Christmas one year.  A man’s son and sister were murdered by an estranged family member and a two-year-old little boy was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
       The man whose son was killed was at a special prayer meeting that I had called for this little boy when his son and sister were murdered.
       I got a call later that evening from the State Police who knew me and knew that I knew this family.  They even set up a call with the police department in Florida so I could verify this horrible news before I went with the State Police to tell the family.
       I have told stories over the years about Jimmy Shelton.  Jimmy had a speech impediment but became a lay speaker.  He was as like Jesus as anyone I have ever known.
       A couple of months after the tragedy, Jimmy asked me if he could share on a Sunday morning.  Jimmy shared something that I have never forgotten.  “We all know that picture and saying about a dream of the footprints in the sand.  There are two sets of footprints until a storm comes and then there is only one set of footprints.  God, why did you leave me in my time of need?  And God says, ‘My child, I didn’t leave you in your storm.  I carried you.’”
       Jimmy then says this, “That picture and dream are all wrong.  I also had a dream during this storm in our lives.  And in that dream there wasn’t just one set of footprints, there were 100s of sets of footprints in the sand because you have carried us through this.”
       Not long after that I started a book that I have written sometimes on paper and sometimes in my mind.  The title of the book is “100s of Sets of Footprints.”  It will likely never be published, but over 40 years of being a pastor and walking through the tragedies of life with families, I have seen that Jimmy was spot on.  Yes, it is the Lord’s grace that is sufficient, but that grace often comes through 100s of others who help carry us in the storm.  That’s why I believe in the church and the importance of being a vital part of a fellowship with others.
       Sometimes as a pastor the shepherd becomes wounded.  The 100s of sets of footprints have carried me and Teresa and our family through this.  I have no doubt that regardless of the news tomorrow that we will experience what we have found throughout this storm.  100s of sets of footprints are in the sand.