June 7, 2025 - Update

       I am sorry that I haven’t written a blog in a while, but honestly I haven’t felt up to it.
 
       About six weeks ago I began to sense that something was going on beyond the norm.  I began to feel lethargic, most of my body ached, and my blood pressure was doing some crazy things on the low end which is rare for me.
 
        One afternoon I came home and laid on the couch for a short nap.  Six hours later I woke up and then went to bed and slept until morning.
 
       On a Saturday afternoon I had Teresa take me to the ER because I hadn’t gotten out of bed for a couple of days and my blood pressure was 88/48.
 
       After a few hours in the ER I came home and was told to take a Tylenol before I went to bed.  When the Tylenol “hit” my body was literally on fire.  I took my blood pressure and it was 90/36.
 
       I had been seeing my hematologist during this.  My blood counts were not where they should be and he discontinued chemotherapy, which is still the case.  He knew that I had had a tick bite and he tested me for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Lyme Disease.  Both came back negative.  He put me on an antibiotic before we heard the results, just in case.
 
       On Thursday Dr. Hicks called me with a very much upbeat tone in his voice.  It appears that I have Ehrlichiosis which is bacteria from a tick bite.  Blood work points in that direction.
 
       I have never felt this way through chemotherapy.  The closest thing would be the harvesting of the stem cells, but that lasted only three days.
 
       Never once during two and a half years of dealing with three cancers have I thought that I might be leaving this world.  Over the past six weeks there have been a couple nights that I wasn’t sure I was staying in this world.
 
       Yes, “for to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”  I just prefer the gain to wait for a bit.
 
       I am far from back to normal.  This has been a very long week with some responsibilities that I had at work.  Thursday night I came home and was exhausted.
 
       I went to bed and slept for about 10 hours, but I didn’t feel all that refreshed when I got up.   I said I felt like my cell phone.   If I drain the power out of my cell phone completely, it takes it a long time to start to recharge and then longer to fully recharge.
 
       I do believe that I have turned the corner.  I fully intend to preach tomorrow if folks still remember who I am. 
 
       I have been reminded once again of just how fragile life is and how vulnerable we can be.  We take way too much for granted.
 
       I have also been reminded that even when we don’t feel His Presence, Jesus is always there.   If I was honest, which I have always tried to be in these blogs, I would tell you that the sweetness of His Presence has been almost non-existent through this. 
 
       I knew He was there because of His Promises.  Sometimes we stand on the promises and we walk by faith.  Illness is often one of those times.
 
       As I contemplated His Presence this morning, I clicked on a worship song that I’d love us to do.  It’s called, “If Not for Grace.”
 
Where would I be, You only know.
I’m glad You see through eyes of love.
A hopeless case, an empty place,
If not for grace.
 
Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I’m a hopeless case, an empty place,
If not for grace.
 
       And as I sang, the floodgates of heaven opened and the sweet peace of Jesus filled my heart in a way that I haven’t felt in a while.  And maybe a tear or two in my eyes.
 
       I might have to muster up enough energy today to walk down to the dock and “have a little talk with Jesus.”
 
       Where would I be, if not for grace? 
 
       I think that I am on the way back.  For that I give Him praise.
 
       I appreciate your prayers.