June 3, 2023 - Cancer Spiral

     Please forgive me for not getting the last two day’s blogs to you on a timelier basis.  I finished them early one morning while we were on the way home from Rochester, but I failed to send them to Megan.  Call it getting forgetful or maybe just lots of things on my mind.
     I am far from an expert on dealing with cancer.  Though three times now, three different unrelated cancers have given me some insight.
     What I have experienced in dealing with cancer is that cancer is a downward, negative spiral.  First comes the bad news that you have cancer, sometimes it is expected news and sometimes it is totally surprising news.  I expected the prostate cancer diagnosis.  I was totally blindsided by the news of the multiple myeloma.
     After the initial whack you realize that it is something with which you must deal.  It’s almost like being in quicksand, the longer you are in it, the more it seems like you are sinking.  This test, then the next one, then something else is found, then more tests and more results.
     Maybe this is more on my mind after getting the plan for the treatment of the myeloma.  But it is something that I have thought about for a long time.  Going on 22 years and rekindled in the past six months.
     If you have had a serious cancer, you know exactly the feeling.  You don’t think it could get worse or more difficult, but then it often does.
What I have found is that the spiral continues downward until one of two things happen: You hit rock bottom in every sense of the word—physically, mentally, and possibly spiritually and then the spiral stops and begins an upward climb with hope and possibility.
     The other reality is that cancer can be the victor physically but not mentally or spiritually.   My brother in the Lord, Phil, lost the earthly battle but won the spiritual battle. 
     In some sense, I am still in the downward spiral on this one.  Waiting for the rock bottom in late summer.  And hoping that the upward spiral begins with hope and new possibility.