July 7, 2023 - Self-awareness

     I got a haircut this week.  There wasn’t quite as much to cut as there was three months ago.  Some of that is because that has been happening for several years. 
I remember looking at pictures over 25 years ago that had been taken when some young people were baptized.  The pictures were taken from the top step of the baptistry and the pictures captured the faces of the kids.   They also captured how little hair I had on the top of my head.   I had no clue.  I may have been in mourning for several days.
     I was concerned when I started chemotherapy how the treatments would affect my body, including whether I would lose my hair.  Beyond what is happening internally, there have been some changes outwardly.  For a while my fingernails were brittle.  My skin hasn’t healed as quickly as it usually does.  My muscles are weaker.
     And my hair has gotten very fine.  I am not sure if there is a fewer number of hairs or that each hair isn’t nearly as thick as it once was.  I am more than thankful that I haven’t lost my hair during these cycles of chemotherapy.
     One of the results of the large dose of chemotherapy that I will be given prior to the stem cell transplant is that I will lose my hair, what little is left of it.  I can’t say that I am looking forward to that.  When that happens folks will no longer say how good I look.  I will look and feel like a chemotherapy patient.
     There were many consequences when Adam and Eve sinned.  There was a break in their relationship with God, including an alienation from Him.  Sin always alienates us from God.
     There was judgment because of their sin.  The punishment for Adam was that he would struggle with his work.  The punishment for Eve was that she would struggle with her relationships, especially with Adam.  And they were cast out of Paradise.
     Another consequence of their sin is something that we don’t often consider.  Self-awareness.
     After they had sinned they realized that they were naked and covered themselves with leaves. 
     Sometimes self-awareness is a good thing.  Chest pain might lead you to get your heart checked. 
     The problem with self-awareness is that its kin is self-centeredness.  Selfishness and self-centeredness can destroy our relationships.  They could even keep us out of heaven.   For sure they must be dealt with by the power of the Holy Spirit.
     Depending on how long I go into hiding after the stem cell transplant might give you some insight into whether it is self-awareness or self-centeredness that is the controlling factor.
     Between now and then I am looking for some ballcaps that I like!