If you have been reading these blogs you know that the stem cell transplant is not something that I am looking forward to having. Who would?
I am not sure what my biggest concern might be. Is it the side effects of the chemotherapy? Is it the “cancer look” that will be obvious after the chemo? Is it the long-term effect of what it will do to my body? There are some Scriptures when taken at face value that have the potential to cause me to feel guilty. For instance, what Paul writes in Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” That’s a pretty tall task to not be anxious about anything. That admonition comes from a man whose letters in the New Testament are filled with many anxieties he faced. An even greater example comes from the lips of Jesus on the last night of His life when He met with the disciples for the last time. As He looked at their forlorn faces He said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” In the last two weeks of Jesus’ life the Gospel writers give us great insight into the heart of Jesus: John 11:33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. John 12:27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.” John 13:21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” Matthew and Mark tell us about Gethsemane. Mark 14:33 He took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. Luke tells us that Jesus was in so much anguish in Gethsemane that His sweat was mixed with blood. How do we reconcile not being anxious nor having a troubled heart with what we see in the life of Paul or in the last days and hours in the life of Jesus? I have thought a lot about the troubled heart of Jesus. The Bible clearly wants us to know that as the writer to the Hebrews says our Lord was made like us in every way, except He was sinless. Seeing two sisters grieve over the loss of their brother was troubling to Jesus. Being betrayed by a friend was troubling to Jesus. Facing the Cross was troubling to the heart of Jesus. Taking on the wrath of God to atone for our sins was even more troubling. Being troubled over what lies ahead for me doesn’t even register on the scale. What we see in the last hours of Jesus’ life was not a troubled, “woe is me” Jesus. What we see is One who had trusted His Father and was willing “for the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame.” When the Bible calls us to not be anxious or when Jesus says, “Let not your heart be troubled” I do not think that means there aren’t times when we are anxious or troubled. None of us could live in this Fallen World and not be anxious or troubled. The calling for the believer is not to focus on the anxiety or wallow in what troubles us. Am I anxious about what lies ahead in the next month? Is there a troubling in my heart and are there questions in my mind? I don’t think I need to answer those questions. As hard as it may be to believe, in the anxiousness there is still the sweet peace of Jesus in my heart. He was with the three Hebrews in the fiery furnace. He was with Daniel in the lions’ den. He is with me in my crucible and He is with you in yours. What is the thought that brings me the most comfort? I know that He understands the troubling of my own heart. It is why He can say to me, “Do not let your heart be troubled. Peace I give to you, my peace.” Jesus understands. Because He does, He knows exactly what we need to make it through. Somehow verbalizing the struggle helps me deal with the guilt. It’s a false guilt unless I refuse to trust Him. The Lord willing, there may be an addendum to these thoughts in tomorrow’s post.
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Chuck Cooper
Pastor at Daybreak Community Church Archives
February 2025
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