August 14, 2023 - He Knows

     On Saturday we had our granddaughter’s seventh birthday party at our house.  Before the party I road into Lawrenceburg to get two things that were vital for the success of the party: balloons and fishing worms!
     My phone didn’t charge overnight and was dead on the trip in, but charged enough that I could read a few texts by the time I stopped at the pet store to get the worms.
     I had received a text from my sister, Rhonda.  She copied a text from a friend of hers who used to live in Cynthiana but moved away some years ago.  They still keep up with each other.   Here is the text that Rhonda received from her friend:
 
     “I have been keeping up with Chuck on his journey.   I pray for strength, courage, and hope for him and his family as he travels this journey.”
 
     And then the kicker:
 
     “We found out this week that my little sister has stage four liver cancer.  I just read Chuck’s latest entry.  He gives me hope.”
 
     I got the balloons and the fishing worms and headed back home with this text weighing heavily on my mind and heart.  After four or five minutes I began to pray one of those short, popcorn prayers. 
 
     “Lord, what in the world are you doing in this?”
 
     My eyes began to sweat as I fought through the lump in my throat. 
 
     I heard as clear of an impression from the Holy Spirit that I have ever heard in my life from God.  It was an immediate response.
 
     “I know what I am doing.”
 
     The lump grew a bit.  I fought it off by the time I got home.  It returned as I wrote this blog.
 
     The party gets rolling.  We are outside and there comes a point when Rhonda is standing next to me.  I share with her my short prayer and the immediate response I received.
 
     There was almost a gasp.  I could literally see the goose bumps pop out on her arms.  Maybe you have had that feeling at some point when God has come near you.
 
     Finally, with far more sweat in her eyes than I had, she says to me, “Those are the exact words that God spoke to me.”
 
     “I know what I am doing.”
 
     Confirmation that God is at work is a wonderful thing.
 
     I have been honest in these blogs that initially I had no intention and even less desire to publish these blogs.  Writing for my own catharsis would have sufficed for me.
 
     I have also shared that God has allowed cancer in my life because there was something that He could not do except through the cancer.   Having the self-focus that most of us have, I have believed that God has allowed the cancer because God couldn’t accomplish His purpose in any other way in my life personally.
 
     Without any question that has happened over these last seven months.  God is using the cancer to teach me many things that I could not have learned.  Even more so, as you would expect, He is doing things in me that He could never have done.
 
     What I never anticipated when all this began was maybe God’s bigger plan of what He intended to do through me, only by His grace and power.
 
     After the party was over and everyone had left, I pondered some more.  And I prayed another of those short, popcorn prayers.  “Lord, I am just a broken piece of pottery.  But I am in Your hands.”
 
     I have struggled with faith all my life.  There have been times when I have been like the disciples when they came to Jesus and said, “Lord, increase our faith.”
 
     Could it be that one of the greatest marks of faith is coming to believe that God truly does know what He is doing and to be able to trust Him in what He is doing?
 
     It is very hard in the extremely difficult circumstances of life to trust Him that He knows what He is doing when He chooses not to prevent tragedies or heal illnesses.
 
     I choose to believe and trust that God is at work in all things, bringing about His good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
 
     God, I am thankful that you know what you are doing, even when I may not understand why at the time.
 
     Now we see in a mirror dimly.  Someday we will see face to face.  Until then, I choose to trust that God knows what He is doing.