As I write this I sit in the Cancer Center hooked to an IV.  I am more than grateful that I have only one treatment a month now.
      I met with the oncologist this morning.  It had been a few months since I had met with him and the first time since getting the good news of a second negative report on the multiple myeloma. 
      He had the biggest smile on his face that I have seen from him.  He confirmed everything that we had been told previously.  He was more definitive about just how rare my results are.  It is something that he doesn’t see often (maybe never), especially in a “non stem cell transplant” patient.
      I may not only be the heathiest looking patient today in the cancer center, but I am also likely the healthiest.
      I am a very blessed and grateful man.
 
      For a couple of reasons this has been a very difficult week.  I should have known it was coming after preaching Sunday on the theme “Restoring Your Joy.”  Often the enemy attacks me on the theme of sermons.
      This week Teresa told me about a friend of hers whose son took an eight-year-old fishing.  The young lad spent about as much time casting his lure in the trees as in the water.  The guy said that he thought maybe that he was too old to take an eight-year-old fishing.
      My solution: stay away from the trees!
      We live on a lake but casting is something that I haven’t been able to do this spring.  It might be considered a sin to live where we live and not spend more time on the lake.
      I have never been proficient using a casting rod and reel.  I grew up as a spinning rod fisherman. 
Years ago Dad and I fished a pro-am bass tournament.  The evening before the tournament the sponsors of the tournament had some contests.  I won a really nice casting rod and reel by flipping a lure the most times out of three with a casting rod into a small box.  I flipped the lure in the middle of the box the first time.  The reel backlashed as it usually does when I use a casting reel, but that meant that it stopped at the correct distance.  The next two casts were set and I won the rod and reel.  The other guys who really wanted the rod and reel weren’t too happy.
      
Peter writes in 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Casting is something that Peter would have understood.  Before becoming one of the 12 disciples he spent most of his life casting as a professional fisherman. 
Peter didn’t cast a rod and reel. 1000s of times he would have cast a net.  On two of those occasions, Jesus performed a miracle for an extremely large catch.  One was at the calling of four disciples.   The last was after the Resurrection when Jesus restored Peter to ministry.
      The word that Peter uses for cast is used only one other time in Scripture.  When Jesus rode the donkey into Jerusalem, Luke tells us that the people cast their coats on the ground.
      This word translated cast implies two things: 1.) an earnestness and 2.) that you can’t retrieve it once it is cast.  Kind of like casting a stone into a lake.
      I must admit, this week I have had a lot of trouble casting my cares upon Jesus.  There has been an earnestness but I have functioned spiritually like I do when I cast a lure: I keep reeling it back in.
      There are lots of cares that I have cast upon Jesus and left with Him.  Most of those are things that I can’t do anything about. 
      I have one care that I continue to carry.  I have tried to cast it on Jesus but I haven’t learned just how to be able to do that.  It is one of those things that I must do my part in the culture in which we live, while at the same time I must realize that His will and His timing I cannot control.
      That care is our worship leader position at our church.  I may have been able to overcome three cancers in the past year but now I may die of a heart attack stressing over music at church.
      I have prayed as much about this as anything in the last few months and I have lost more sleep at the same time.  It has felt like a spiritual backlash that I have had about as much trouble unraveling in my heart as a tangled fishing reel.
      If I could figure out the method to do everything that I can and then leave it in Jesus’ hands, I could write a book. 
      Lord, help me live out my calling to do what is required of me to help Your will come to fruition.  Even more, teach me how to cast all my cares on You.  I am not sure I know how to experientially do that.   Lord, if You could teach me the method, I will gladly share that with others.
        And Lord, we are seeking your will when it comes to being able to worship You.

          We got back very late last evening from the drive home from Tampa.  What we thought would be a 12-and-a-half-hour trip, plus about an hour for stops, morphed into a 17-hour trip.
     The traffic was terrible, I made one bad decision about which way to go at Atlanta, and to top it off, I couldn’t get too far from being able to find a bathroom.  I so wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed that we pushed on despite how often I had to stop.
     I got on the scales this morning and my response was, “Oh, my.”  Five days of all the food you could eat, plus ice cream available for 13 hours a day, brought the result that I deserved, but had hoped wouldn’t.
How often do we choose to do things that we know what the result will likely be, but hope that somehow the outcome will be different?
     I am sometimes maligned for how limited my normal pattern of eating is.  Surely the four basic food groups are eggs, meat, green beans, and strawberries.
      I have had a “weak” stomach since I was a child.  When I was six I had a stomach ulcer.  I started to school, we moved, and our cat died.  It was more than a six-year-old could handle.
     I can’t eat spicy foods.  Teresa and the kids will go to a Mexican restaurant when I am out of town, knowing that I will never take them there.  I can eat a salad with peppers or onions and be up half the night.
     There’s a home owned wholesale meat distributor in Cynthiana from which we buy a whole sirloin strip about once a month.  After trimming off the fat, we usually end up with steaks that cost less than a Big Mac or a Whopper.
     When I am adhering to what I know is best for me, a typical day would be just eggs in the morning, maybe some cheese and fruit for lunch, and a steak, green beans, and strawberries for supper.
     Beyond eating more than I should have eaten on the cruise, I made some bad decisions about what to eat.  I had pretty much forsaken cheeseburgers and fries the last couple of years.  The cruise had great cheeseburgers and the fries were good, too.  I had them every day.  They were greasy, but very tasty.
     At Friday’s sit-down meal, one of the appetizers was frog legs.  I hadn’t had frog legs since the old “New Orleans House” went out.  I was accustomed to eating fried frog legs; these were maybe broiled.  I knew from the first bite that they wouldn’t sit well.
     They didn’t.  Coupled with the greasy burgers and other stuff that I don’t usually eat, it was more than my stomach could handle.  Those frog legs jumped in my stomach all the way home and still are this morning.   I was glad that Scott Emmons was preaching.  I stayed home, not wanting to be embarrassed if a trip to the bathroom wasn’t quick enough.
     I reaped what I had sown for five days.  
     Twice Paul uses the analogy of reaping what we sow.  The most familiar of those two is found in 2 Corinthians 9 where he writes in the context of being generous these words, “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”
     I have adhered to the principle of reaping and sowing when it comes to giving and generosity since I was 12 years old.  I started tithing then when I mowed lawns or shoveled the neighbor’s snow.  I have no doubt that the blessings that Teresa and I have received are a direct result of reaping what we have sown. 
     The second use of this sowing and reaping analogy is found in Galatians 6 where Paul writes, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
     This second analogy of the Biblical principle of reaping what we sow is seen in most every aspect of life.  I sowed to please the flesh on the cruise when it came to what I ate.
     There were times on the cruise that I sowed to please the Spirit, when I chose to get alone with Him and I reaped the blessing of His Spirit’s Presence.
God cannot be mocked.  We reap what we sow.
     We see it in our schools.  We see it in our culture.  We see it in families.  We see it in many relationships. 
     We reap what we sow.  Bad decisions will likely turn out the way we know that they will, even though we hope that they won’t.
 
    There is a triple lesson to be learned here for me.
1.  Continue to live out this Biblical principle of reaping and sowing.
2. Make intentional decisions about some changes I need to make in my lifestyle.
     Today, I will go back to being on the diet that I know has worked for me.  It is an intentional choice that I will make.  Maybe in due time I can move from “Oh, my” in the morning to “Oh, yes!”
3.  Realize that God can be redemptive in the bad decisions that we have made.
 
     The reaping what we have sown has the potential to be affected by the divine grace of God.  His grace won’t change the numbers on the scales.  There are consequences to the choices we make, not just in terms of eating and weight, but in all of life.
     When we choose to sin, there are consequences.  God can and will forgive the sin, but often He cannot remove the consequences.  He can, however, be redemptive in those bad decisions, even the decision to sin.
     He works in all things to bring about His good.  He takes the worst, like the Cross, and turns it into a good far beyond what we could hope for or imagine.
 
     He can also help us to make better decisions in our lives so that we will reap His blessings.
 
     I will choose to ask Him to help me to do that this week.
 
     I don’t need His help to know that I will never again eat broiled frog legs.  However, I may need His help when it comes to a greasy cheeseburger.
 
Addendum:
     I wrote most of this before worship started and then I watched worship this morning with Scott Emmons preaching.  I am so thankful for what Scott means to me personally and to our church and so many others.
     I have wondered about the efficacy of the Lord’s Supper when it comes to those who are watching online.  As others were dining at the Lord’s Table, I shared, too, using a bit of bread from the heal of a loaf of bread and some unsweetened decaf tea.  It was the best available.
     As I prayed and took the elements in remembrance of Jesus, the Spirit of Jesus came.  I was moved by His Presence.  He isn’t limited in when, where, or how He can come to us.
 
     Sorry for the long chapter.  It’s Sunday and I needed some outlet.  I am used to preaching!

      Many of you know that Teresa and I, along with Caryn, Chris, Cooper, and Caroline are on a celebratory cruise this week in the Caribbean.  A year ago Caryn and I were far from where we are today.  We are truly grateful for God’s healing and His blessings.
      This morning I was up before the others, sitting on the back of the ship.  I have spent many hours here this week because the floor above provides a safe haven from the sun. 
      This is the fourth day that we have been at sea.  I could write several blogs about what it is like to be on the ocean and not be able to see land in any direction for miles and miles.
      Many times in my life I have stood on the beach and looked at the ocean and I have thought about the vastness of creation.  But the view from that perspective is limited when compared to being on the ocean.
       We are only in the “small” Caribbean compared to the Atlantic or the Pacific.  Yesterday, as I looked across the vastness of the ocean I thought, “Only a fool would think all of this evolved.”   There are many fools in the day in which we live. 
      I read Isaiah 5 as part of my devotion this morning.   “Woe to those who call good evil and evil good, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.”
      I have been forced to relax much of the week.  The computer wouldn’t connect to the business computer, so there hasn’t been a lot I could do.  It has been a blessed time to be with Teresa and Caryn and her family.
      Last evening when it was close to sunset I wanted to see the sun set across the horizon, so I headed to the front of the ship because we were heading due west.  The wind was blowing rather hard and I was the only person crazy enough to be where I was. 
      The railing was only about four foot tall and it hit me in the middle of my chest.  I thought what it would have been like to be as tall as Matt Rose.   Sometimes being short isn’t a bad thing!
      Clouds had rolled in at the horizon and seeing the sun set wasn’t a possibility.  What could be seen were rays of the sun shining above the clouds.  Not a bad picture of what my life has been the last 16 months. 
      Recovering from thyroid cancer and surgery has been relatively easy on one hand but in some ways difficult on another. 
      The difficult part has been regaining the strength of my voice.  I shared in a blog last fall about being at a funeral and singing, “It Is Well.”  It took me days to recover from that.
      Last evening as I stood on the bow of the ship, I started singing.  With no one else around, I spent close to 45 minutes singing in worship and praise to our Lord.
      As you might expect, I sang about the goodness of God.  “As long as I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.”
      I sang about the greatness of God.  I sang about the blood of Jesus.  I sang about the promise of heaven.
      I literally sang until the evening came—and I was a bit late for dinner!
      At least when it comes to singing, it was the strongest that my voice has been since the surgery.  I am more than grateful for that.  I have very little repercussions of that today.
      I say that I try to model Jesus’ example, but I am far from doing that in lots of ways.  One of those is in the way that Jesus lived during the three years of His ministry.
      As we read the Gospels we see Jesus as both the Son of God and the Son of Man.  The human side of Jesus grew thirsty, tired, and weary.  He was so tired one day that He slept through a storm on the Sea of Galilee.  The disciples had to wake Him to save them.
      As we look closely at the Gospels, we also see times when Jesus intentionally chose to get away from the crowds and rest.  During His ministry His model was work/rest/work/rest.  Included in those times of rest were often times alone with His Father up on the mountain and away from even the disciples. 
      I need to model that far more in my life.
      Lord, I thank You for creating this world.  You have set the heavens in place by the work of Your finger.  Only a fool could think that You didn’t.  Thank You for Your greatness and Your goodness, as well as Your grace that has brought about healing.  Help me to model Jesus in my life, including the intentional choice to more often get away and spend time with You and those I love.