April 15, 2025 - Taxing But Not Taxes

      I began writing this while sitting in the waiting room on Mayo Building 10th floor, desk E.  Mayo 10E is where Dr. Leung, my main doctor here, has his office.  I have been here often.
 
      Almost a month ago I had tests and other doctor visits, but Dr. Leung was unavailable on that visit.  I made the choice to return to Rochester to see him in person, rather than by Zoom. 
 
      I also made the choice to come alone.  Oreo, our aging dog isn’t doing well, and we hated to leave her with someone else.  Sometimes alone isn’t a bad thing.  I spent the first part of the trip yesterday with the radio off and my “heart to pray” on.  I should do that more often.
 
      The trip here was different than most times that I have come to Mayo.   I usually leave after church on Sunday and end up getting here before midnight.   Yesterday I left about nine in the morning so I got to Rochester early in the evening.
 
      Instead of heading to the hotel, which is within eyesight and walking distance to Mayo, I headed to eat at Teresa’s favorite restaurant.  As I made my way to the hotel, still in the daylight, I didn’t get that usual feeling of apprehension mixed with hope when I drive into Rochester and see the Mayo buildings.
 
      I know the results of the tests and I believe that I know that what I will hear this afternoon should be good news.  It has been an almost stress-free trip to Mayo.
 
      Well, at least until I got on the Mayo elevator and punched the 10th floor button.  I can’t explain it, but I had this anxiety flow into my heart.  It’s not a fear.  It’s not a worry. It’s not crippling.
 
      I had intended to do some things while I was waiting.  I came two hours early just in case.  The “just in case” rarely works out, but it was worth a shot.  It didn’t today.  It looks like I will be happy if they call me close to my appointment time.
 
      The anxiousness remained when I sat down.  If you have read many of these blogs, you know that I write when things are on my mind and heart.   Putting them down helps me deal with some things. 
 
      Sometimes I pray.  Sometimes I speak with others.  And sometimes I write.  Some of the blogs I have never sent; they ended up being just for my benefit.  This may be one of those.  Honestly, my heart has quietened as I have written—though not completely! 
 
      Prayer at this point isn’t for results, it is for a calmness in my heart. 
 
      I am blessed beyond measure.  Last week I met with a guy who was giving me an estimate on some things at the house.  It didn’t take long to realize that he was a believer.  I shared with him a small part of my story.  He had one response: GRACE!
 
      He was right as I have shared.  It is only by God’s grace that I have come this far.  And whatever I hear this afternoon will be because of God’s grace.     
 
      Instead of doing some things that I intend to do, I spent about 30 or 40 minutes in the Word trying to better understand grace. 
 
      Grace is a “post Cross” concept.  Grace is mentioned only 13 times in the Old Testament; only three or four that wouldn’t be about a person’s character.
 
      Grace is mentioned only 3 times in the Gospels, all of them in John’s Prologue where he speaks of Jesus being full of grace and truth.
 
      Grace comes in a variety of ways.  There is saving grace as Paul says in Ephesians 2 that “we are saved by grace.”
 
      There is sufficient grace that comes when God chooses not to remove a thorn in the flesh and says, “My grace is sufficient for you.”
 
      There is dying grace when God calls us to His eternal glory.
 
      There is undeserved blessing by God’s grace.
 
      There is grace that enables us to overcome temptation.
 
      And there is simply “living” grace that enables us to live as His followers every day.
      
      In the vast majority of references to grace, grace is something that is given.  Grace is a gift from God, a gift we don’t deserve, but is given to us out of the Father’s great love.
 
      Writing, prayer, and study of the Word is a pretty good treatment for handling anxiety.
 
      I feel better, somewhat.  As the time for the appointment comes, not fully at peace.  The rest of my life somewhat hinges on what the doctor decides.  I guess maybe I ought to be a tad nervous.
 
      I will tell you the results of the visit tomorrow after I get back to Kentucky!  I will hit the road as soon as I can.